The Adventures of the Little Indian Girl

December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself

Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

 

N took this photo on May 23rd in the lawn by our apartment building. The day was D's estimated due date. I was happy that day. I was happy with what life threw my way. Swollen feet, hard to sit/stand/walk/lay down, but I was happy being pregnant. I was in no rush to get the baby out. All in its due course. So many people would ask me if I was done with it, etc. But really why? I enjoyed the calm and peace till the last moment. And baby surely let me arrived the next day!

December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?


Every now and then, D throws a huge fit. Nothing is obviously wrong but there is something that is bothering her. After twenty minutes of comforting, feeding, changing, when she finally dozes off for a nap the world seems to be alright. It feels like everything's going to be fine. I can manage this. I can do it.

December 22 – Travel How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)

2010 was a quiet front when it came to travel - compared to the previous years. At least for me. Although what does it mean to travel? To visit a selected destination in a mode of transportation for either work or pleasure. In that case, I travelled to the hospital/doc's office a few times! As the pregnancy progressed, towards the end and for the first month after delivery, the trip to the doctor was a journey in itself! I remember the first car ride to head over to Silver Spring, Maryland to visit another friend who gave birth. It seemed fine at the time but later it felt like the longest road trip ever taken! And the baby wasn't even crying!

Our first trip out of state (well, not counting Maryland & Washington DC), was over the Thanksgiving break. We flew for the first time with D. We thought for the first time in our lives we would get special treatment as we always heard in all our travels "Families with your children board first!" But to our dismay that announcement never came and we never enjoyed that little special treatment. Ah well..the trip itself was a lot of fun!

Next year, definitely not just wanting to, but also will be travelling to India. I am looking forward to heading to Mumbai, Bangalore, Pondicherry along with D. I can't wait to for D to meet her grandparents, to meet her great grandmother, to meet her aunt, and her family!

December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)

I like to say that through my pregnancy, I lent my body to the new form that was created within. All my organs were squished this way and that to make physical room, my hormones went all topsy-turvy to adjust to the new life and dear hubby had to bite his tongue at my not-so-frequent-but-happened mood swings toward the end of the road. Having the baby began the healing process of my mind and body. I got it back. And it's still working towards the full strength. It has been a wonderful and often amusing time - yes with the baby and all but rediscovering things about what I could do before I got pregnant.

My first evolutionary change I noticed was the ease in how I once again could bend down and pick things up from the floor! I didn't need to strategise each and every move to get the item or call for N to help! The other big change was the fact that the world wouldn't come to an end if I slept on my belly! Those two were the big things that truly amused me and helped me realise that my body was mine again! This weekend helped me realise that I am almost there. As we put together the IKEA shelf, I realised I didn't need to sit and observe N put the things together but could actually do a lot of the assembling! (Of course, am a bit sore after all the squatting and bending - but I see it as a preparation for me to be running behind D in the coming months!!)

And I hope in 2011 that healing process will be complete!

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)

In 2011,
1) I want to make something - restart my quilting project
2) I want to try my hands at baking!
3) And to continue creating the scrapbook of the last three years! The photos are all ready. Other non-photo scraps are also saved. Now, I just need to get to it!

This past year I tried knitting and I gave up. It was too much for me to do. Sounds silly but I found sewing easier. I had gotten a good start and then baby happened and never got to it. I am not exactly sure how I will get that going again, but would like to get it going!

December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

This made me think for a bit. 2010 went by so quickly that a lot of things have been a blur. But without doubt the biggest change in perspective came when I was contemplating cloth vs. disposable diapers. I have been to free workshops on how to do it. Read up on a few websites as well but somehow I was just feeling all "ewww" - "I have to handle the poop in cloth?!" Then came in voyageofdreams  in the picture. This is a friend whom I have never met, but have followed her journal through the years trotting around the globe. I wish we had met when we were living in KL but then we were still new to each other. But she took some time out of her busy schedule (she's a mom of two) and shared (online chat) with me the lowdown on Cloth 101. Each and every step involved, what I would need, etc.

After that, it seemed like such an easy thing to do. As I now am into 6.5 months of using cloth & occasional disposables, I am just amazed how easy it was. I still find using cloth easier than disposables - the disposing is so much easier (we use a diapering service since our laundry is shared and it saves time and not much more expensive). I feel less guilty as I throw the used cloth in the bin for washing and reuse than when I take out that full disposable diaper that just goes in the trash.

Lets see my endurance through it once the little one starts on solids... ;) Maybe another chat with Kirsteen for the motivation is in place. But I owe her a big thanks for the talk!

December 14 – Appreciate What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

People - I have been so fortunate to have wonderful people, family - friends, surrounding me when I most needed them.So, here are a few of them in the order of appearance in 2010! ;)

1. Husband - just a wonderful man who manages to make me laugh - a lot. He has been so very thoughtful and caring not just this year but through our marriage. He drives me mad occasionally, but no one is perfect, me included (am sure I drive him mad too). But he helps around the house, listens (most of the time), just always there - which I appreciate the most! And he made the greatest labour coach (after the Nurse - afterall she is trained in her job) one could ask for!

2. Mother-in-law - many grumble about their mom-in-laws but I have a cool mom. She was there when I was pregnant and exhausted to care for me. She is so very thoughtful, kind, sweet and enjoyable company to have, especially the days when N was traveling. We survived snowcalypse10 together! Even ventured out in the snow! That truly was fun!

3. Mom - with my pregnancy and thoughts of the future I appreciated mom far more than I ever have in my life! A strong woman who managed two crazy kids globetrotting all around the globe with dad's work. As I play with D and care for her daily I wonder how did mom do it on a daily basis and just thank her for all her work! Having her with me during the whole delivery and the months that followed was just help that one can't put any price on!

4. Dad - I was just ecstatic dad could make it here!! Dad has always done so many things, whether he liked it or not for the sake of his daughters. He always shares tidbits of information that I just find intriguing. It was nice to have him here and share thoughts that were not baby related all the time!! :P And dad found an amazing trick to get D to nap!!

5. Father-in-law - he did not make a physical appearance but he has always been here in spirit. Loving and caring soul always wanting the best for us. He has always shown his care and concern over the phone and shares stories of yesteryears with us so we can pass it along the next generation. And I always enjoy a good story!

6. Sis - she did not make a physical appearance either and this year we have spoken a handful of times, but the times we do chat on the phone she gives a good reprieve from the daily chaos with a good joke that can only be cracked between sisters.

7. Jenny, Hock Yee, and friends here in VA/MD - they have been such nice support to have. They provide such a good break from the daily grind.

I do have to find a way to show my appreciation. But one way I think they also enjoy is to include them in the development of D; by sharing pictures, videos, etc. It's the least I can do for now!

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

uh-oh. I never did resolutions. This prompt is almost like making resolutions. But maybe with a new baby it's a good start. 11 things I don't need next year:

1. Lack of exercise - find a way to integrate this into our daily lives. It will be a struggle and a challenge but got to do it. The days I exercise I find myself in a better mood and better shape to handle D. I find that I am more patient and more energetic. So this is crucial.

2. Using D as an excuse - to a certain extent yes, I can't do some things because of D. But I need not hide behind it as much as I find myself doing.

3. Home alone - now that I am not working, I need to find avenues to be engaged with people. Just as my daughter is a people person, so am I - very much so. I get all charged up by meeting people (nice people of course). I also need to find ways to engage with people in things that are not always about baby.

4. Laziness - I think this is self-explanatory

5. Clutter - oh our place is so often so cluttered with things. We only do a thorough clean up when we have people over. With a little one crawling and eventually walking about it's real priority that we declutter but also for our own peace of minds.

6. junk food - we are enjoying a lot of junk food this days, constantly aware that this is a habit we want to keep D away from and we have to set the example. We can't and don't want to eliminate it completely because an ice cream or some chips once in a while is okay and enjoyable but we don't want it to be part of our daily life - routine.

7. TV Dinners - they are fun once in a while but we want to get back to eating at the dining table. We are planning to reclaim the dining table for its purpose - currently that's where the computer sits and when N gets his comp from office, the table is overtaken with tech stuff - add the video camera, camera, etc.

8. Book less - need to/want to start reading again. I miss having that book to read.

9. Only digital writing - not online writing but hand-writing things be it letters or thoughts. I had nice handwriting for some time and now that just seems to have disappeared. And my hands ache by the time I finish a page. not good. I believe that writing things down is an exercise for the fingers and mind.

10. Friend-less - I have become bad in keeping in touch with friends this past year. I don't count facebook updates as keeping in touch. That's a passtime. Actually giving a friend a call to say hello and see how they are doing - it's been a while!

11. Thoughtlessness - with baby around I have sometimes forgotten the husband, the friends, the "me". I need to better care for these things

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

Surprisingly, giving birth. The moment when it was time, somehow the body and mind knew exactly what to do. They were one and together in achieving one goal. My husband was also surprised that in all that chaos I was able to make some decisions and be alive!! ;)

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

I don't like socks. I don't wear them unless absolutely necessary, which means it must be absolutely freezing and I really need to go out and oh yeah when I do decide to exercise. I am a slippers kind of girl. So the party that knocked my slippers off was the big party before baby's arrival. Some might label it a "baby shower" but we didn't do a baby shower. We didn't do any funny games that measure my huge waist at the time, nor did we do games of figuring out what is in the smelly diaper. It was a party where we invited many good friends to come and hang out with us in leisure before our lives become consumed with baby and her interests.

N took care of everything! All I did was create the invitation e-card & show up all dressed up! I was all dressed in a salwar kameez that mom had picked out and got it tailored for maternity wear and sent it along with N when he was in India in Dec before (pic below). Mom and I have very different fashion tastes and it was one of the first times where I really loved what she picked out! That weekend we had an out-of-town visitor and thanks to her N had help decorating the place up and getting things done! We owe her one! We actually relearned how to make colourful streamers! I think the last time I did was at high school dance party!!


I forget what food we had. As you see it was all gobbled up and no evidence was left behind for me to decipher (photo was taken after the party). Maybe someone who came remembers! I think some samosas were involved.

Our home was filled with so many positive vibes that night with so many fun people! Maybe one of these days we will have another knocking-slippers-off-party again!

December 7 – Community Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

Being pregnant has its advantages. Random people greet you, talk to you, it's easy to break the ice. For one who is on the shy side (yes, I can be rather shy), this icebreaker really helped. I joined some mom-to-be groups - to meet others in similar situations. After birth I would join the hospital support group they offer for new parents & another for nursing moms. Just being around was so helpful. I joined the library storytelling time before D could even understand the concept of story-telling/song singing.

But the biggest community I connected with were people in my building. It's been amazing to see their support through my pregnancy and after delivery, especially after they found my mom headed back. Various neighbours, some with kids themselves, have offered their time to help especially during the day when I am home alone. I haven't taken up the offer just yet but it's comforting to know it's there. During the window replacement, our neighbour down the corridor so easily offered up her place for us to stay so D wouldn't be exposed to dust, etc. The maintenance staff are just awesome and the resident manager always with a word of encouragement and cheer.

People grumble about living in big cities and in apartment buildings and the lack of a community feel. But we have a nice little community going on in our building. Another reason we have no intention of moving.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)
(I have taken this from a past post I made...Just too busy to write up something new and fresh)

Work - My last day at office was May 13th. I had stopped volunteering at the museum early on in Feb as I couldn't stay up on my feet for so long. However, my work, I stayed on with it till ten days before my due date. That was as far as I could go take a metro and get to work comfortably. Many ask why not continue after. Aside from visa issues (the work was a voluntary job), I just don't think I could leave baby somewhere to go work - at least not in the first 2-3 years.

This was for some time the most common subject that would come up during conversations, which is also baby related is my decision to stay home with baby and leave the working world for now. Some have been supportive of the idea, some have suggested otherwise. Some have shared how it wouldn't work for them, some have given tips on how to cope with the change, and some have tried to convince me to not do that. It's the latter that has begun to bother me, as it steps on my toes.

It also bothers me that women in this day and age have to make such a tough decision. I would think in a society that has "progressed" so much would have a better support system for women who also want to pursue a career. In India, my cousins (sisters) have the support system from their parents or in-laws who stay home with them; hiring a maid is affordable and slowly they are also getting maternity benefits at the workforce in addition.

Yes, it probably would be very beneficial for our financial status for me to work and it would be beneficial for me not have a gap in my resume as I have seen my former colleague have a huge dip in her salary when she left the workforce for 10 years to care for her children. However, it's a choice we make. And I am fortunate that it is a choice that I can make. There are so many for whom because of circumstances, do not have these choices to even consider. And there are many who want to continue for the same of personal satisfaction. Whatever it is, what we enjoy today that our previous generations sought for, is the freedom to choose. It is not that the women previously fought for the right to work and so every woman has the obligation to work. It is having the choice to decide for oneself what one would want in life without being judged is what came out from the women's movement - at least this is what I'd like to think and hope for.

Anyhow, for now I want to give my all to the little one, and have gladly left the workforce. I have to find means to keep my mind sharp but that's another challenge for me to overcome. But I am happy to have left the workforce. Maybe that will change later on, but I will not think, "darn! I shouldn't have done this!"

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Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is now an annual event, an inspired response to (and evolution of) #best09. It’s an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

2010 - Metamorphosis

A year ago I was pregnant, reading many books and other sources, listened to advice, saw other moms to get an idea of what to expect once a child arrives. Looking back now I realise how innocent I was, how ignorant I was to what was to come! One really is oblivious to the full meaning of what it is to have a child until the child makes the grand appearance. 2010 saw the metamorphosis of both N and I into the world of parenthood. D has changed our lives completely from something so carefree into something completely different (I haven't found the words to describe what "now" is). We now rethink every little action we take/make at home and outdoors.

2011 - Learning

Am sure just as D goes through many development stages, which would include feeding, walking, talking, etc., I will probably continue to learn so many new things about life, myself, and her.

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Reverb 10 (#reverb10) is now an annual event, an inspired response to (and evolution of) #best09. It’s an open online initiative that encourages participants to reflect on this year and manifest what’s next. It’s an opportunity to retreat and consider the reverberations of your year past, and those that you’d like to create in the year ahead. We’re connected by the belief that sharing our stories has the power to change us. We look forward to reading yours.